RELATIONSHIP MISUNDERSTANDING
A mistake as to the meaning of something; erroneous interpretation; misconception. A disagreement; difference of opinion; dissension; quarrel between two partners or friends.
It is a natural and inevitable circumstances. Every relationship will undergo several bouts of misunderstanding.
this happens because our views and opinions are different from each other if a couple tell you they don’t have a misunderstanding both of them or one of them is an hypocrite. Even twins misunderstood each other, Esau and Jacob were born same day, one valued birth right and the other did not. Cain and Abel, one was a herdsman and the other was a farmer. You see the difference? Whatever develops from my ways of looking things is different from yours. If you don’t want misunderstanding in your relationship the best medicine is stay out of one. Even The Holy Trinity have different names and different but common characteristics which was binded by God. Even in the Bible it says ‘every sin against the son of Man will be forgiven but sins against the holy spirit will not be forgiven, ‘ and it does not say ‘grieve not the son, ‘ but it says, ‘grieve not the spirit’. That tells you that there is something that makes them different.
Misunderstanding is natural because in every relationship, a lot of emotions are involved. So when there are misunderstandings in relationships it’s natural and it shouldn’t lead to break ups it should be resolved.
THINGS TO DO IN RESOLVING RELATIONSHIPS MISUNDERSTANDING
FIX AN APPROPRIATE TIME TO DO IT – let the time be a perfect time and not an irritating time to you and your partner or whoever you are trying to resolve the misunderstanding with. If you don’t fix an appropriate time, their are chances that your partner will have an excuse not to be available, especially when they don’t want to settle or they are guilty. The reason why most people involve themselves in serial failed courtship and marriage is because they don’t avail themselves of the wisdom of learning from their past mistakes.
DEFINE THE PROBLEMS – ask yourself what the problem is. The reason for this is that the problem in the eyes of the other person may be different from your own eyes. You have a reason why your relationship is at Edge and the other person also has a different reason because our views are different. Don’t solve the problem but rather solve the cause of the problem it is like being disturbed by a Tree and all you are doing is cutting the edge of the trees, you are prunning it to come out more beautiful and massive and it’s also like treating a malaria fever without treating the cause of the malaria. Identify what the problem is. Is it that I’m not caring? Is it that I’m not romantic enough? Identify and solve rather than settling the problem, if you settle without solving the cause of the problem, there will be reoccurrence of that problem.
SPEAK DIRECTLY AND PERSONALLY TO THE OTHER PERSON – do not assume the person knows what you thinking or what you feelings, put away all forms of hiding, you must be open. One major reason of misunderstanding is because we assume the other person knows what’s happening.
Speak directly and don’t use slangs, parables or big grammars to express your mind for instance I have this two friends who are not in good terms then one initiated a chat and communicate like Patrick Obihagon, finally everything was worst than it was initially.
If you want to settle misunderstanding write out whatever you want to say to be plain and simple.
BE HONEST IN YOUR STATEMENTS -
Don’t deceive each other. Speak the Truth in love. Do not get up in mind. If you will resolve a misunderstanding, honesty is paramount for both of you. I call this method face to face approach. Stay and stand by the things you said. Without honesty there will be no meaningful resolution. Any relationship that is founded on lies will crumble. When you marry a liar, you contact his lying spirit.
IDENTIFY YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE PROBLEMS – As an individual who is interested in settling the misunderstanding in a relationship, identify your contributions to the problem on ground, by doing this the other person will be willing to talk about his or her own contributions too. It’s not every contribution that is made in a relationship makes it healthy, we all contributed positively and negatively. It is right for a man to admit his mistakes and repent so that he can be blessed, Humble your self and accept your problems. Anybody who is too proud to say sorry will destroy many relationships.
INITIATE A LOVING BEHAVIOUR TOWARDS THE PERSON – what I mean simply is that after identifying your contributions to the problems and you know you have started what your needs are, he may find it difficult to satisfy your needs like doing certain things. But initiate it, over and over again, exercise a lot of patience and all will work out the way you want it
STATE POSITIVELY WHAT YOUR CONTRIBUTIONS AND BEHAVIOUR WILL BE – make some commitment as to what you will begin to do. for instance I will be calling you at least 7 times in a day. As you resolving everything goes little by little. Misunderstanding resolution give you the opportunity to makes your demands and needs known.
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